Weird World (franchise)/Preview Scenes
These are previews of scenes that will be from some episodes of Weird World: The TV Show. WARNING: For some, you may choke to death while laughing and others, just in case, grab a box of tissues. Portal George: The Insult Game * (George and Craig are standing on the beach and are pointing tazers at each other) * George Jacqueline: Ready, Craig? * Craig: Let's do it. * George Jacqueline: Right. You're so dumb, that you went to take the number 140 bus, but instead took the number 70 bus twice. * (George tazes Craig and Craig screams) * Craig: Good one. *Coughs* My go. You're so fat... er... that... you're clothes have stretch marks. * (Craig tazes George and George screams) * (George and Craig laugh and Stephanie walks out the house and goes towards them) * George Jacqueline: Oh, hey Steph. *Continues laughing* * Stephanie: What in the name of love are you two doing? * George Jacqueline: You two? Oh, us two! We're playing The Insult Game. * Stephanie: Sounds insulting. *Sniggers* What do you have to do? * George Jacqueline: Think of a good insult and taze each other. * Craig: (off-screen) You're so stupid, you thought Taco Bell was a phone company. * (Craig tazes George and George screams) * George Jacqueline: Electrifying, eh? Right! Craig, you're teeth are so yellow, that traffic slows down everytime you smile. * (George tazes Craig and he screams off-screen and he is then showed slightly burnt) The Ultimate Survival Game: Scooter's Turn *(Scooter rolls the two die and they land on 1 and 4 each, adding to 5) *Scooter: 5. (moves his fire engine piece five spots) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. (lands on a six-colour spot) *George Jacqueline: Ooh. Scooter, you've landed on the Colour Skin Spin. *Scooter: The what? *George Jacqueline: Basically, you spin this spinner... *Scooter: OK! (spins the spinner which has six colours - red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple and it lands on green) Green! Now what? *George Jacqueline: Erm... Depending on what colour it lands on, you're skin will... *Scooter: (off screen) Ahh, green! (on screen) My skin's turned green! I look like a red onion! *Stephanie: Erm... (her fire sets on fire) Red onions are red. Hence the name. (a tiny bit of fire lands on her nose) Oh, stupid flames! (tries to pat the fire out) *Scooter: In that case, I look like a GREEN onion! What do I do? *George Jacqueline: The only way you can turn back to normal, is to say any random word... *Scooter: Starfish! *George Jacqueline: ...as long as it's not "Starfish". *Scooter: Oh, what happens if I say "Starfish"? *George Jacqueline: Easy, you go to jail. *Scooter: What? *(Scooter gets handcuffed and the police appear out of nowhere) *Lucas: You're under arrest, sir. *Scooter: You didn't say it would actually be... (gets thrown into the police van and it drives to jail) *(Scooter gets thrown into a jail cell) Glow Disco: The Extraordinary Eight's Party Outfits *(the episode starts with George in the living room putting on a purple T-shirt which reads "lol." on it and then putting a leather jacket on) (He is also shown wearing purple jeans, lavender socks and purple Adidas Superstar trainers and he checks himself in the mirror) *George Jacqueline: Can't wait to go to this party. It's even better cause the rest of the team are going with me. Just hope we don't go too crazy and pass out by morning. Yo! Is you guys ready? *(Sponghuck enters looking the same, but with a darker green shirt and a lighter purple tie) *George Jacqueline: Sponghuck, you look pathetic. *Sponghuck: How? *George Jacqueline: You're wearing exactly what you always wear. *Sponghuck: Actually this shirt is a darker green. *(George gets one of Sponghuck's regular green shirts and puts it side by side with the darker green one) *George Jacqueline: OK, it is slightly different. Is that it? *Sponghuck: No. My tie is also lighter. *George Jacqueline: I ain't got time to get out the scales. *Sponghuck: No, it's a lighter colour. *George Jacqueline: OK, then. I'll let you off. At least you don't look ridiculous like Craig does. *(Craig enters wearing a yellow, green and blue wig, red gloves and a boater) *Craig: What's up? How do I look? *George Jacqueline: Like an Italian clown rowing a gondola. *Craig: I know, but how do I look? *(a hammer is thrown by George or Sponghuck and hits Craig) *Craig: Point taken. *(Scooter enters wearing a Michael Jackson inspired jacket, trousers, belt and shoes) *George Jacqueline: Finally! Some actual effort. Scooter, my man. *Scooter: Hey, George. *George Jacqueline: I love that jacket! Wait, did you steal it from Michael Jackson? *Scooter: No, I actually made it myself. I tried to make it look as close to Michael Jackson as I could. *George Jacqueline: Well, at least you tried. *Scooter: Josie looks just as cool. *(Josie enters wearing a white T-shirt, black jeans, black trainers and sunglasses) *Josie: Yo. *(Bash opens Josie's crocodile skull and blows a party blower dressed completely in white) *Bash: I'm ready to party! *Laughs* *George Jacqueline: Josie - cool. Bash - just plain crazy. And beyond the pale. Ha. Pale. *Bash: Err... what? I didn't get that. *(Tyler enters wearing a blue-grey T-shirt, grey jogging bottoms and a golden crown with blue eyes) *George Jacqueline: Tyler! Going a bit Eminem are we? And that crown is shiny and glamorous. And... Oh, my God! What's wrong with your eyes?! They're blue! I thought you're eyes were... *Tyler: It's OK, George. (takes off blue eyes to reveal his normal brown eyes) I'm wearing contact lenses. *George Jacqueline: Oh. Never mind. Right, all we're waiting for now is Stephanie. *Josie: She looks rather gorgeous and se... *(Stephanie enters with bright yellow and green hair, a red cap, bikini top, short skirt with very brief view of red panties and white and red trainers and she leans against the wall and crosses her arms) *Stephanie: Right. Are we set? *George Jacqueline: (stares in amazement) I... I should... think so. George, stop acting weird. I ain't acting weird. OK, maybe a little. Anyway... let's get going guys. Zane Applegurgle: Deciding Who To Take to the Supermarket *(George is holding a list with the other Extraordinary Eight members' names on it) *George Jacqueline: Hmm... Let's see. Who shall I take to the supermarket? Bash? Nah. He's crazy of course. *(flashback shows Bash going mad in the supermarket and a tin of food hits George's eye) *George Jacqueline: So he's out. (writes "Crazy" next to Bash's name on the list) Craig? Nope. Hopeless at shopping. Remember this? (takes out the "Top 50 Things Craig Montgomery is Hopeless At" book first seen in the first film) *(Up close shot of the book) *George Jacqueline: Yeah. (writes "Hopeless" next to Craig's name on the list) Josie? Definitely not. She's lazy. *(flashback shows George and Josie at the supermarket) *George Jacqueline: She'll leave me to do all the work and she'll just walk around with her hands in her pockets. And did I forget to mention her pranks? Mind you, she does do the occasional shoplifting. But, no. (writes "Lazy/Plays pranks" next to Josie's name on the list) Scooter? Perhaps. He's smart and very helpful. Oh, but he's always falling asleep. *(flashback shows George about to get out the car, when he sees Scooter asleeps and he groans) *George Jacqueline: And even when he isn't asleep, there's his allergies. *(flashback shows Scooter freezing the supermarket with his sneezing) *(George writes "Always falling sleeping/Allergies" next to Scooter's name on the list) *George Jacqueline: What about Sponghuck? *(Sponghuck comes floating past him) *Sponghuck: Out of the question. (drinks from a milk carton) Ahh. *George Jacqueline: OK, then? (writes "Can't be bothered" next to Sponghuck's name on the list) Right. Stephanie? Yes. She's very clever, she is helpful and she always listens to me if I have a problem. Oh, yeah. *(flashback shows Stephanie texting on her phone in the car) *George Jacqueline: But we're taking the car to the supermarket and the road's very bumpy. Not to mention Stephanie's always on her phone in the car. Which means... *Stephanie: (cheeks turn green) Gonna be... (covers mouth) *Muffled* Car sick! (throws up on George, who is off screen, then takes a picture) Oh, man, the girls back in the Crystal Planet must see this. Did I eat something funny? Oh, well. Hashtag, erm...TheLifeOfADriver. *George Jacqueline: Yep. She easily feels sick. (writes "Squeamish" next to Stephanie's name on the list) Right, let's see. Bash is crazy, Craig's hopeless, Josie's lazy and plays pranks, Scooter has allergies and is always falling asleep, Sponghuck can't be bothered and Stephanie is very squeamish. Now who's left? *(Stephanie walks by texting on her phone) *Stephanie: I am. *George Jacqueline: Not left-handed. I meant who's left on this list? I'm deciding who to take to the supermarket and I crossed your name off because you are very... *George and Stephanie: Squeamish. *Stephanie: By the way that photo I took the other day already has a million likes. (giggles and walks off) *George Jacqueline: Now, back to the list. Tyler! Of course. He's wise, very helpful, he listens to my problems and he doesn't get car sick. Sure, he is clumsy, but he is a shopping expert, so nothing can go wrong. Perfect. I'll ask him. *(Tyler is watching the television and George taps him multiple times) *George Jacqueline: Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, Tyler? *Tyler: Yes? *George Jacqueline: Will... *Tyler: Yes, I'll go to the supermarket with you. *George Jacqueline: How did you know I was gonna ask that? *Tyler: Because you were standing next to the sofa while planning who to take with you. Those footprints in the carpet prove it. *(there are footprints in the carpet) Lennox: _____ Is Dead *(George and Scooter are in the living room playing a video game seemingly based on Tetris and they are on the final level) *George Jacqueline: Wow, 127 levels and we finally made it to the final level, Scooter. *Scooter: I know and along the journey I ate 3 cherry bakewells, a sponge cake, the rest of that toad in the hole from Tuesday, a Quarter Pounder and 10 boxes of cornflakes... without the milk. *George Jacqueline: Wow! And I thought Craig ate that much. Actually he's eaten more. Anyway... *(George and Scooter move the controls on their controllers quickly and an explosion sounds and a victory fanfare plays, meaning they've completed the game) *George Jacqueline and Scooter: Yes! *Scooter: We did it! All 127 levels complete! *George Jacqueline: 127? 128, Scooter. *Scooter: But you said it was 127. *George Jacqueline: No, that's all the levels before the final level. The total number of levels is 128. *Scooter: Oh, yes it is, isn't it? *(Sponghuck opens the door and comes in the house) *Scooter: Hey, Sponghuck. *Sponghuck: Hey, Scooter. Hey... George. *George Jacqueline: Hey, Sponghuck. How was the mission? *Sponghuck: Lame. We were investigating some strange chemicals that destroyed part of a red forest. I didn't find that interesting. Then we checked out this laboratory and we barely escaped an explosion. And that was it. *George Jacqueline: Oh. *Scooter: Right. *(Stephanie comes in and gets her breath) *Stephanie: Guys... *Pants* *George Jacqueline and Scooter: Steph? *George Jacqueline: What's up? *Stephanie: *Pants* Tyler's... dead. *George Jacqueline and Scooter: What?! *Sponghuck: Oh, yes! And Tyler's dead. *Scooter: My best friend? *George Jacqueline: My Single Mate? *Sponghuck: The only other Extraordinary Eight member I could tolerate? Ghost Hunt: KitKat O' Clock *(George enters the kitchen where Sponghuck is having a bowl of cornflakes) *George Jacqueline: Good morning, Sponghuck. *Sponghuck: Fine, I'll buy it. Good morning, George. What do you want? *George Jacqueline: Just wanted to say good morning. *Sponghuck: Whatever. (eats his last spoonful and drinks all the milk from the bowl) Ahh. (takes out a KitKat, unwraps it and takes a bite) *George Jacqueline: A KitKat after breakfast? *Sponghuck: I always have a KitKat after breakfast. It's an precaution to keep me lasting through the whole day. By the way, do you have the time? *George Jacqueline: To do what? *Sponghuck: I meant what time is it? *George Jacqueline: Oh, the time. Er... (looks at a clock) It's KitKat O' Clock! *Sponghuck: Excuse me? *George Jacqueline: It's KitKat O' Clock. See for yourself. *Sponghuck: George, that is the most ridicu-what the hell is up with that clock?! There are KitKats on it! *(a clock with KitKat bars as hands shows the long KitKat on the 12 and the short KitKat is on the 8) *George Jacqueline: See, the big KitKat is on the 12, the small KitKat is on the 8, so that means it's... *(The clock goes "coo, coo" and a long KitKat comes out and goes back in and it repeats) *George Jacqueline: KitKat O' Clock. *(The clock won't stop) *Sponghuck: Does it ever stop? *George Jacqueline: Well, not on it's own, usually. It's a good make though. *Sponghuck: Sometimes I wonder about you. *George Jacqueline: What's wrong, KitKat caught your tongue? *Sponghuck: Oh! (holds a surprised face) *George Jacqueline: I'm off to have a quick shave. Stephanie's Favourite Tree: Stephanie's Story *George Jacqueline: Why is it your favourite tree? *(Stephanie wipes a tear and a flashback shows Stephanie at the park, on a bench and near the tree) *Stephanie: It's my favourite tree... *sighs* because it was the only thing I had for company since I first arrived in Rainbow City. I did nearly all of my training by it. Blossoms would fall from the tree and land on my face and body. But it felt really good and it made me feel less lonely. And at night, before I went to sleep, I would gaze at it, wondering what the next day will bring. And while I was asleep, pink fireflies would rest on the tree and brighten it up. *(cuts back to the present) *Stephanie: It was so nice. Along with meeting you and my times with Eleanor, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Soda Slide: Arriving at the Sites * (George and Sodie are heading for the Soda Park sites) * Sodie: You know, building a soda park was one of four things on my bucket list. * George Jacqueline: What were the other three? * Sodie: Oh, creating bubble bath from grapefruits, keeping a walrus as a pet and meeting Tom Jones. * George Jacqueline: Oh, right. Grapefruit bubble bath? Seriously? A pet walrus? WTF? Tom Jones?! OK, then. Why not? Everyone wants to meet him. * (George and Sodie arrive at the Soda Park sites) * George Jacqueline: Wow, this is big! I see the soda pool, a food shack and the soon-to-be Soda Slide. Can you actually drink the soda? * Sodie: Was Bon Scott the original AC/DC vocalist? * George Jacqueline: Yes. He was. And the best in my opinion. Weird Ways to Die * (the episode starts with a zoom in of the Big Mac house and cuts to Stephanie opening the fridge and getting out some milk and she drinks some from the bottle) * Stephanie: *Sighs* * (Stephanie puts the bottle back and closes the fridge, then she notices a picture of Tyler on the fridge door and she puts her hand on it) * George Jacqueline: (off-screen) Are you OK, Steph? (appears on-screen holding a guitar) * Stephanie: I'm fine. It's just that... and before I continue, what's with the guitar? * George Jacqueline: Guitar? Oh, this. I'm trying to think of a song to play. I was gonna try Spaceman by Babylon Zoo, but this guitar's not distorted enough. Then, I though about doing Closer by Nine Inch Nails, but that's one's pretty complicated... and disgusting. * Stephanie: What about My Heart Will Go On by Céline Dion? * George Jacqueline: Heavens no. That song's terrible. Anyway, carry on with explaining how you just feeling. * Stephanie: Well... it's just... that I... miss Tyler. * George Jacqueline: *Sighs* Me too. * Stephanie: Yeah. Hey, did you ever wonder how he died? * George Jacqueline: No. How did he die? * (a flashback shows Stephanie, Sponghuck, Tyler, Josie and Bash at a laboratory) * Stephanie: Well, on that mission we had on the day died, where we were investigating some chemicals that destroyed that red forest, we were checking out a strange laboratory full of dangerous chemicals, and I know what you're thinking - a labroatory in a forest? * George Jacqueline: Actually I wasn't thinking that. But that does sound kinda ridiculous. Anyway, continue. * Stephanie: Well... I accidentally knocked a tube over and some chemicals spilled on some dynamite, so we had to retreat and we all made it out. But Tyler, didn't. He saw him on the floor, unconscious and after a few seconds, he died. We thought the explosion killed him. But then, in one hand, he was holding a sieve. * George Jacqueline: Wait, a minute. (back to the present) He killed himself with a sieve? * Stephanie: No, he used it as a weapon, because he forgot his gauntlets. In his other hand, he held a butcher's knife. And we saw a large scar on him, with blood pouring out. This meant he committed suicide. (back to the present) But it was exactly how he wanted his life to end. To commit suicide behind an explosion. * George Jacqueline: Commit suicide behind an explosion? That's a bit weird isn't it? Sure, I know weird... (looks at the viewers) ...but that is ridiculous. No offence. * Stephanie: None taken. Do you have any ideas of weird deaths? * (a light bulb appears over George's head) * George Jacqueline: Yes. And I've decided what to sing. * Stephanie: What? * George Jacqueline: Listen up and I'll tell ya. * (George strums a few notes on the guitar) * George Jacqueline: Voice change. *Clears throat* *Blues voice* I'm gonna sing a song called "Weird Ways to Die". You thought Tyler's death was weird? Listen to this lot. * (George plays the music of "Dumb Ways to Die" on the guitar) * (As George sings the first verse, each of the following happens per line - Benny puts his foot in a blender and it spins his around and blood goes everywhere, Rewth is on a dismemberment board and it stretches her, then something pops and she dies, Issac puts a jellyfish on his head and it stings him, then burns him and Twaimo walks onto an iceberg and he slips and smashes his head and his anchor tail lands on his body) * George Jacqueline: ♪ Put your foot in a food blender, use dismemberment to make yourself look slender, wear a jellyfish as a hat, use an iceberg as your brand new mat ♪ * (As George sings the chorus, Benny with a blended and bloodied food and some blood on his body, a stretched Rewth, a burned Issac with the jellyfish still on his head and Twaimo with a broken head and anchor tail deep in his back dance together singing along) * George Jacqueline: ♪ Weird ways to die, so many weird ways to die, weird ways to die-ie-ie, so manh weird ways to die ♪ (continues strumming) Enjoying it, so far? * Stephanie: Yes. Can you gimme some more? * George Jacqueline: Of course. Here we go. ♪ Hide in an oven just to get some placid, make a milkshake from some boric acid, stick a battery up your nose, flood your entire house with a garden hose♪ Nothing Compares 2 U: Craig Becomes a Chipmunk and Shoots Stephanie by Accident BOLD '''= Whenever Matty M. Scrubbs speaks into his microphone. *George Jacqueline: He did have a little companion alongside him. Was it a dog? *Stephanie: No, I believe it was a chipmunk. *Matty M. Scrubbs: Perfect! Adair's chipmunk! Now, who can get to play that part? *(everyone looks at Craig who's licking his hand) *Craig: What? *Matty M. Scrubbs: Oh, yes. There's our chipmunk. *Craig: You want me to be a chipmunk? OK. *(Craig is about shapeshift into a chipmunk) *Matty M. Scrubbs: '''WAIT! NO SHAPESHIFTING! IT MAKES LOOK IT TOO REALISTIC! *Craig: Then, how am I suppossed to be a chipmunk? *(cut to Craig who's covered in chipmunk fur and wearing ears, a tail and whiskers) *Craig: Well, if it works for you. And I got my secret weapon to make sure I stay in character. (takes out a pistol from his hat) A pistol. *Matty M. Scrubbs: WAIT! HANG ON! *'Craig: What? *'Matty M. Scrubbs:' LOOSE THE HAT!' *(Craig throws his hat away) *George Jacqueline: Are guns still even legal in Rainbow City? *Matty M. Scrubbs: Well, without a license, no their not. *Craig: Oh, chill your beans. I've got a license. (holds up a postcard) *George Jacqueline: Craig, that's not a gun license, that's a postcard. *Sound Man: Err... boss, did Adair's chipmunk even have a gun? *(George and Stephanie are looking at a book) *George Jacqueline: Well, it says here... *Stephanie: That he did have a weapon, but instead of a gun, he had... *Matty M. Scrubbs: We'll go with the gun. SHOOT! *(Craig aims to shoot) *Matty M. Scrubbs: NO! I DIDN'T MEAN YO... '''actually this is good. '''KEEP ROLLING! *'Camera Man: But sir, you didn't say "Action". *Matty M. Scrubbs: Oh, right. ACTION! *'Craig: I'm Reg's companion, a chipmunk with a gun, which does have a license, ready to open fire, like this! *(Craig shoots the gun and it hits Stephanie's leg off-screen) *Stephanie: AHH! Jesus! My leg! *George Jacqueline: God! Oh, my God! *Craig: Yeah, that makes more sense. *Matty M. Scrubbs: *Sighs* Peabrain. MEDIC! *''(Scooter is holding a first aid kit and wearing blue gloves, medical coat and head mirror; Josie and Sponghuck are standing next to him) *Scooter: On my way! *Sponghuck: Why did they choose you as the medic? *Scooter: Cause you didn't want to be. Plus, I took 7 years in medical school. *(Scooter races to Stephanie) *Sponghuck: Did you know that? *Josie: That you hate taking care of others? *Sponghuck: No, about Scooter going to medical school. *Josie: Oh, no. No that. *(cut to Scooter finishing putting a cast on Stephanie's leg; a bit of blood is shown on the cast) *Stephanie: Ahh! Ooh. *Scooter: There we are. *Stephanie: Thanks, Scooter. Ow. Bad Pun Alert: The Bet Starts Now! *George Jacqueline: In that case, if I can't say "Bad Pun Alert", Josie can't play pranks... *(Josie says a box of pranks and kicks them away, while whistling) (Craig is licking a vase) *George Jacqueline: ...Craig can't eat anything that isn't food... *(Craig wipes the saliva of the vase and puts it back on the table) (Stephanie is texting on her phone) *George Jacqueline: ...Stephanie can't text on her phone... *Stephanie: (turns phone off) What phone? *(Cole is leaning against a wall and sighs comfortably) *George Jacqueline: ...Cole can't lean against walls... *Cole: (takes his hand off the wall) What's a wall? *(Scooter is asleep on the sofa) *George Jacqueline: ...Scooter can't fall asleep... *Scooter: (wakes up in shock) Duh. I'm awake. *(Sponghuck is standing quietly) *George Jacqueline: ...Sponghuck can't get (pops out of nowhere) SCARED... *Sponghuck: *Screams* Don't scare me like that. I'm going to get some milk. (floats off) *(Brent is reading a woman's magazine) *George Jacqueline: ...Brent can't read women's magazines... *(Brent throws the magazine away, but it comes back and hits him) *George Jacqueline: ...Tyler can't knock anything over by accident... *Tyler: Hmm? (sees a lamp and walks carefully around it) *George Jacqueline: ...Bash can't tell bad jokes... *(Bash tries to zip his mouth shut, but it's stuck) *Bash: One sec. *(Uses both hands and successfully zips his mouth shut) *George Jacqueline: ...and Zayden can't say his own name. *Zayden: Zayden understands. *Stephanie, Craig, Tyler, Scooter, Bash, Cole and Brent: Yeah! *Josie: In that case, shall we start? *George Jacqueline: Sure. The bet starts... now. *Josie: OK. *Stephanie: Better make sure we don't loose, guys. *Craig: Yeah, or else. *Zayden: Zayden is definitely going to win this. (a red "X" appears over his face and a buzzer sounds) Oh. Zayden lost? *Josie: Nice going. *(The others groan) (Sponghuck appears out of nowhere) *Sponghuck: Well, you blew it. *(The others yell in terror, which then scares Sponghuck) *Sponghuck: Oh, sh... (a red "X" appears over his face and a buzzer sounds) ...t. Goddamn it. You know what though, I can't help myself. *Josie: Well, that's two down. *Bash: I know what they're thinking. *Sponghuck: I'm not thinking anything. *Zayden: Zayden isn't either. *Bash: So you're both lost in thought? *(a Joke Rimshot Drum plays) *Bash: *Laughs* Oh, I was saving that one. (puts his hands on his mouth) Oops. (a red "X" appears over his face and a buzzer sounds) *George Jacqueline: Ha! Make that three. Also Bash, b... (covers his mouth) Woah, that was close! I nearly said it. Come on, George. Just get your game on. You can win this. You've taken down three and you're now up against seven. George's Moped Test: Sex on the Phone *(George's moped instructor is on the phone) *Moped Instructor: OK, Sir or Madam, I dunno, I'll ask in a minute. I'm going to need some personal details from you just in case. *George Jacqueline: OK, fire away. *Moped Instructor: Sex? *George Jacqueline: Never had sex, or a relationship for that matter. *Moped Instructor: (puts his hand on his face) Are you male or female? *George Jacqueline: Oh! Er, male. *Moped Instructor: Full name? *George Jacqueline: George Aaron Jacqueline. *Moped Instructor: George Alan Jacqueline. *George Jacqueline: Not Alan. Aaron! George AARON Jacqueline. *Moped Instructor: Sorry sir. George AARON Jacqueline. Birthday? *George Jacqueline: December 19th. *Moped Instructor: What year? *George Jacqueline: Every year? *Moped Instructor: What year were you born in? *George Jacqueline: Oh! 1991. *Moped Instructor: Age? *George Jacqueline: 28. *Moped Instructor: Height? *George Jacqueline: 4 foot 9. *Moped Instructor: Quite short, then. Hair colour? *George Jacqueline: Blue. *Moped Instructor: OK, but I need your natural hair colour, please? *George Jacqueline: Blue. *Moped Instructor: OK. Eye colour? Lemme guess - blue. *George Jacqueline: No. Green. And another no, I ain't wearing contact lenses. *Moped Instructor: OK. Skin colour? *George Jacqueline: Black. *Moped Instructor: Finally, have you ever had experiences at all involving mopeds? *George Jacqueline: Well, I did find a moped in the back allies once and took it for a spin, but I was stopped by the police. I got arrested because the moped belonged to an elder, for some reason, and I had to do community service for a week. *Moped Instructor: Right. OK sir, that's everything covered. The test shall be Wednesday, so I'll see you then, all right? *George Jacqueline: OK bye. Why the hell would he ask someone about sex, on the phone? More coming soon...